Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Disco Comes Home

Disco comes home
You don't need to go to foriegn countries-
rememeber this is not some sort of post modern joke...
It's uh... it's

Holy Crap!!
I mean...
This is.... Wow.
What the fuck am I supposed to say about this...

or even this.

Motherfucker won't let me imbed

Disco goodness?
U.S.A. U.S.A.!!!

USA +1

Metal?? (more Eurovision)

What if I told you there was a german band, based on Ghengis Khan,
singing about the cold war?
You'd be ready to rock some angry Death Metal right?!?!
--"Damn Straight!"
Oh wait sorry... instead we have more EuroVision
"Dschinghis Khan"

Rock me Sexy Khan, Rock me.


Ghengis Khan

Psyco-camera version of above

So now the Japanese Disney kids will cover it Kawaii style...
And the world explodes..
I dare you to make it all the way through.

Shout out to Moe Moe's friend Nonie for reminding me of these classics.

Germany +1
No, wait, I'm afraid this is worth 2
German +2
Japan +0 (almost -1!!!)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Candy = Sex

What is it with Candy?
Japan, now France...

"Lets get a cute girl"
-- okay yep.
"Now lets have her eating candy."
--- sure okay.
"oh, lets make the candy ridiculously phallic. "
----Tres sexy, noi?

France +1

El Chombo - Chacarron Macarron

What happens when you don't write lyrics?

A fake spanish song

UK +1

We Want Black Death!

Another oldie but goodie Lamé-ites

LORDI in Eurovision
Now Eurovision is a bit like american idol meets a Miss Universe. Each country has an internal contest to select their representative for the international contest. So this is an annual family friendly pop crap fest... where the latest backstreet boys and britney spear clone can crap out more shit.
Heres an example of the usual sort of crap at this show. watch it at your own soul crushing risk..

Death of Pop

HOWEVER... because this is an international contest and each nation votes for its
own representative... our story gets strange.

Yes, Finland, the social safety net, the gorges, the fjords, the strictest drunk driving laws in europe.
Finland voted for the band... Lordi...
yes, yes for you Black Metal fans THAT Lordi.

basically imagine what would happen if suddenly the state of Wisconsin forced American Idol
to let Gwar on the show.
.... and then strangely they won the contest...
the mind boggles.

here's Lordi's performance on Eurovision.
Enjoy and wait for the wings

Um, even I am at a loss for words about this one.
A Richard Prior gag from his show that seems to have lost the joke
and accepted rock godness.

Finland +1
USA +1

Friday, November 21, 2008


Oh hell yeeeah!
Pocky is the candy equivalent of heroin addiction
You think, "Well. yes I'll take just one. They're tasty- but whatever..."

Then you eat another one.
Then your staring at an empty box.
Then it's 2am and your wondering where you can get some more.
Then you find yourself looking at youtube videos of Pocky.

Lets start you on a simple Methadone.
A world of Pink.

Alright, now lets add some disco supreme base:

Okay now lets add a some flava,
Yeah bonjoirno! (sic)

Now, lets get a little funky with your transvestite grandpa.
Wait, what?!?

Wait wait stop..
WTF is happening?
something is terribly wrong here...
Why am I scared of this candy now...?

Horror candy?!

Uh... too much, too much
I think I'm od'ing
What is this...?

Make them stop.

I suffer for you
Japan gains +1 point; rehab; and diabetes.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Empire of the Sun

Empire of the Sun
a mysterious mystical musical journey of
magic and mystery...

I mean how can you not like this album art?

Walking On A Dream

This isn't the best mix of this song..
but look at that album art!
Dune + Labyrinth + Adam and the Ants
Awesomely bizarro'!
If this sort of thing and "Italian spiderman" keeps up
Australia may become my new favorite country.

Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream

Watch out even this boy george mix of the song grows on you.
check them out on myspace

La Casa Azul Spanish Para Para!

More Para Para!
Take a Japanese Phenom
add 16th century hair
sing in Spanish

Baba Sonicos
barely pass as trash culture
they're a little to hip...
but the robot disco dancing is so infectious today
I couldn't help myself.

Is that the disco robot overlords calling?
Si overlords, I dance in disco style!"

happy yet?

Italian Spiderman!

"Italian Spiderman" A group of Aussie film students made this gem. It's basically a homage to the old Bava films and other bad explotation jems of the the 70s.

"Who's- Mario Bava?" you ask.

Oh No!!!
Do not question the Bava, he is the latex highness of bizarre Italian-ness and stoner film glory. No director had a greater talent for bizarre sets, nonsensical plots, and finding reasons for women to wear very little.

Mario Bava!

So "Italian Spider Man" worships the Bava throne like a sexy high-priestess with a very big feather headdress and a very small leather bikini...
And thus you should watch it.

Watch them all- but here's my favorite episode-

If you like this check out there other episodes. (I'll post a few more later)

but also check out
"Danger Diabolik" by Mario Bava.


Bollywood Part two

Wait, did I say Modern Bollywood suck?
Well that's still sort of true... Bollywood needs a savoir
someone musically beyond reproach who could save it from itself..
"But who?" you ask.
There can only be one..
Better than Barrack
More Super than the man
S N double O G
Whooly shit!

Okay, Okay!
I can hear you saying, " Yes Snoop is some sort of wierd Undersea Mantis-Sex-God, but OSalt wasn't this post about Bollywood?!?"
-Yes. Lame'ites this is about Bollywood...
Behold Sihg is King part 1!

We wait breathlessly for Sihg is King Part 2 with SNOOP!
and assume this must put India in the lead with some sort of
cross=cultural bonus trash points

Disco Dancer Jam

Ah, 70's Bollywood....
The seventies did wonderful things for Bollywood.
Sadly, this glorious heyday passed and most Bollywood dance numbers look exactly like Brintney Spear's videos now.

So today is all themed around a less played jam from the well known "Disco Dancer Craze."
Wait what?!! You're not following Disco Dancer!?! For shame!!!!!
Here's a catch up or remminder for you lame'ites

That was refreshing.
But here's the crazy beat that inspired this post.
(from the same movie)

Okay, I guess It would be lazy not to include MIA cover too.
She can't dance, but she makes solid beats.

Word of the Day

The word of the Day is "Ass Monkey."
Yes, "Ass Monkey" because that's who I think make most blogs.
"Hi, my name is fuck you and I'm gonna tell you all about my life."
Please don't. I don't give a shit about your new baby pictures, that band you saw last week, or even why Spiderman would totally beat Batman in a fight.
This is not a blog about that shit.
This is a way for me to share awesome sauce.
So here's the first awesome sauce cocktail- A Pleathora of things you should be watching on youtube:

First up "Para Para"
This is an oldie, but I would be remiss if I failed to include "Night of Fire"
Hypnotic, Bizarre, Lacking in any social value.
Originally the blog was going to be called Gold Lamé Jacket in honor of the sexual cowboy featured here.
Thank you Japan, you are so bat shit crazy I can't believe we won the war.

Happily entranced?... and yet feeling slightly uncertain about the world?
Well lets get ass drunk on more Para Para!
Presenting "Super Euro- Flash" (sic)
This is Hitomi team's later work I guess.
Terrible music? - check
Bizzare "Para Para" dancing?- check
Cute Girls? - check
Amazing guy in cowboy boots? - sadly no.

-But watching this back to back with "Night of Fire" above will more of less get you drunk...
Not that friendly, slurring "I luvv you guys!" drunk.
No, that angry, "What is wrong with your face!" Irish drunk.
This video is like alcohol poisoning and a groin punch.

"Hey you, what's wrong with your fucking face!"

oh shit...
Well this will make us feel better

yeah that hit the spot-